What a day. I went to the flea market in northern Kentucky to look at grave markers. Do you think it's about time? I mean it's only been 3 months and I've had to drag myself to do every bit of it. I guess no one is hurrying to do any pre-funeral or post-funeral arrangements. Even when things are all written out on what the wants of the deceased are it's still a long and painful process. If it's anything I've learned is that you have to shop around for everything. People tell you all the time about getting taken advantage of during such a hard time but it's the truth for many reasons. The funeral is so quick you have no time to shop around and the fees from flowers to open and closing, which I thought was the casket but found out is the opening and closing of the burial plot, to the marker are so expensive and pricey if you go for convenience and sometimes there isn't a choice when you are running all over hell and back to get signatures, clothes, pictures and you can only imagine the rest. I had to take a pen and paper both times I had to plan a funeral. I'd never done anything like that in my life so i had to put aside any grieving for the moment and turn myself into work mode believe it or not. Take my sister's funeral for instance. I was so shocked she was gone so soon and unexpedetly and also before my mother that I had to turn the crisis mode into manic work mode. There was no choice. I had 4 kids to take care of and also her arrangements and to top it off.....my sister's hair and makeup! OH YES I DID!!! Hardest thing in my life but I kept hearing my sister saying what she had said to me all the time about her leaving this world some day and that was that I had to do her hair and makeup and that if she looked like shit it was all my fault. I told her I couldn't do that and she said she'd come back and haunt me if not and if I felt a big gust of wind knock me around it would be her. Aw, gee thanks Gayle! I don't recall my mom saying I had to do her hair and makeup but I certainly touched up and warned the funeral director I'd have his ass if she didn't turn out well. I always hated those conversations with my mom and sister about death but now I'm glad we joked and they tortured and teased me because atleast I knew what they wanted...well, sorta!
Mom left it all in an elaborate set up listed along with police escort and limo ride for the family but didn't have it paid for. Gayle just told me as I tried to shut my ears and then made her husband pay for it. Knowing my sister and my mother, it was planned more than I thought at the time. LOL......God I miss them. Even the hard times. Anyway, listen to your loved ones even when it's something you don't want to hear. It may be for you to keep going someday in some strange way.
No comments:
Post a Comment