Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thankful For My Chaos


Thanksgiving has come and almost gone.  This year I finally felt what I think my Mom felt all those years she'd pin me down and let me know I was expected to be where she was for Thanksgiving.  When you come from a broken family it's always a struggle to keep everyone happy, especially if you have a significant other.  Being the matriarchy of the family now, I finally get it.  It was a 2 day process, but I gotta say it was totally worth the time, fat ass balloon feet and cocoa coma I've been in since dinner.......haha, I'm allergic to chocolate but I'd still pump it in my veins!

I'm trying hard to remember back as far as I can to my first Thanksgiving.  I remember lots of holiday meals but the one I remember first was when we lived a bit more north in Cincinnati.  Pisgah, or West Chester, was still new and my parents had recently reconciled.  That alone can make a kid thankful.  We'd moved into a bigger and newer home and things were just good, or so I thought at the time.  I'm glad they let me just THINK!

My Dad's family was there, my 2 brothers, 2 sisters and I can't remember who all but we were together.  I think it was the time I got caught feeding the dogs spaghetti.  We had 2 white poodles and I didn't want to finish my food so I gave it to them.  Mom asked me if I'd fed the dogs and I said "NO!" not realizing their noses were red from the sauce.  Just like my Mom to make the table colorful!!!

So yesterday, I started cooking for today.  I started making my Aunt Shirley's chocolate cake recipe because it's just like my Mom's and I couldn't get Mom's right.  Just talking to my Aunt Shirley the night before was the start of the family flashbacks.  Flood of good memories came.  When I got going on the cake I put some old music on.  The stuff that came on the clock radio in the morning when I would jump in Mom and Dad's bed in the night.  Remember those old clock radios?  One good oldie after another came on.  Is there really a bad oldie anyway?  I caught myself dancing to a few of them and caught the kids laughing!  After about 12 hours I called it a day and went to bed thinking like my parents...........need to get up early and put that bird in!

Got up today thinking about the rest of the food needed to get in the oven and how I was going to loosen my sore feet.  Note to self........need carpet on the tiles if cooking over 3 hours!  Nonetheless, I got up and put my cheesecloth on the bird and finished up all the veggies.  

It's funny how the kids come in about the last 15 minutes to help finish the meal.  I don't know if it's because they can't wait any longer or if they're cutting to the chase to get to the dessert!  Having 6 of my kids home and the bigger 3 helping in the kitchen was different.  All of a sudden I had some help and I'd seen the reaping of my work.  It was an all together different feeling.  

Here is where it all came back to me.  Reminded me of when my sisters and I would sit with Mom or ourselves around a table and just start talking about everything.  Oh......and that chocolate cake would be there in the middle.  That same cake my Mom would make at every dinner.  Same one my aunts would make.  Same one my sisters would get caught shoving in their big mouths!  We'd usually take pics when the one eating wasn't looking.  That was our thing. We'd go as far as breaking in the bathroom and trying to get nude pics of the other.  Body image issues go as far back as the 1970's in my family .....haha!

So as I sat outside chatting with my girls with the sun beating on my face, waiting for a little room in my stomach, I had all those feeling again I had years ago when we were all together.  I guess that means I am starting the process all over again with my girls.  I can't wait until they get the same feeling I have today.  It's all  over a grateful and thankful feeling like no other.  For that I also have to thank God.  Without Him, I'd never have my Mom and Dad to which this all started.  My Mom always taught me where it all started......prayer and thanking God, even if it seemed like a bad time it was a blessing.