My REAL Family History

I decided I should come clean with all of you and tell my REAL family history or story. It'll be the only way some of you know what I'm talking about and hopefully jump on with my cause. It's meant so much to me for many years and have wanted to take time to write a book but every year it gets a bit complicated and I get so busy I just don't have time. Some of you already know and it's not like it's a big bad secret but I wasn't sure it was good to expose myself in that way. Anyway, I find it very necessary if I'm ever going to help others and let's face it, I need help myself from many of you who have no clue there is such an epidemic. At the moment, again, I'm needing more support than I ever imagined so please read on and take a moment to learn why I'm so passionate for kids.

When I was 19 I had a baby I named Tasha. She is/was a beautiful Cherokee Indian I wanted before ever born. Sadly then but happily now her father and I never worked out. I left him after a great deal of abuse when she was only 3 days old. I believe he had many more issues than I ever knew and looking back and discovering her with hardly any time with him tells me how behaviors and actions can be so hereditary. I spent many years struggling with her and her ADD and other issues I had no clue . I just thought she was a good baby being so quiet. I later came to realize it was mental illness which she gets from both sides. My mother and sister both had mental illness so I know/knew all the signs but really didn't want to believe it. I've been forced at this point to totally acknowledge it and that didn't happen until Tasha had her own baby after becoming pregnant her senior year of high school. I already had a child Terra born in 1994 and Tannah in 1999 I was caring for but was all up to being a grandmother and a supportive one in my daughter keeping her child as well. Abortion wasn't an option and if she wanted to give her baby up I would be the first to take her and raise her too. We are family and I'll always teach my kids to stick together to the end.

In 2002 a beautiful baby was born she named Alyssa. Tasha lived here the whole time and we did our best to make her responsible and not take over. Sometimes we worried we were doing too much and enabled her not to be a full time mom. Other times we tried to make her do her job as mom. I babysat while she worked part time barely holding any job. She was always tired, easily lost her cool and obsessed on the strangest things. Her hands were scabbed from washing too much and many other things I can't go into. There were times she wouldn't wake up to hear the baby and couldn't get out of bed for days. We were totally at a loss. At the same time I was caregiver for my mother who I'd just found out had signs of dementia so I was spread a bit thin to say the least. That's another cause I've had to put on hold since Mom has passed since. The role of caregiver for Mom lasted about 5 years to the best of my memory. I have to tell you so much has gone on that parts of that were blurry. She is sadly missed but happily we know she is in a much better place. She lasted to see 3 out of 4 of Tasha's babies.

Alyssa was born in 2002 and we've taken custody of 3 of Tasha's babies since. it all only got harder. In 2004 Lana Jean was born and again we tried to make Tasha be responsible. Seeing in the beginning things worse than with Alyssa we fought right away for custody. I had already taken Tasha to the hospital when pregnant with this baby for overdosing on Phenergan but no one seemed to notice. It was certainly documented. At the age of 4 months a very tough and hard magistrate from Hamilton County allowed Tasha to take Lana to Kentucky not knowing much of the situation although we had custody of Alyssa and Tasha not being in a stable home. With some backing by people with their own intentions and others not taking the time to see, we lost her for 2 months at which Lana came back to us at 6 months old weighing 12 lbs. It was the same weekend some foster parents had locked a little boy in a closet for the weekend and went for a family reunion. Sadly this little angel boy showed others the huge problems with foster care here in Cincinnati. It tightened our system just a little because he died in that closet. Wrapped in a blanket that was taped he fought his way with bloody feet to get out but never made it out alive. A huge story came of this because the foster mom, who is now in prison along with her husband, put on a big front that he was missing from a park. We'd all searched everywhere for him and had finally come to find out his little body had been burned and thrown in the Ohio River. That sparked just a little attention on our system but it really didn't change things much. It's still about parental rights and what to do for the parent who lost their child and how can we get them back in the home...safely?! We finally got custody of Alyssa and Lana. Shortly after that I lost another sister. She passed away right before Christmas.

In 2007 we had a 3rd arrival. Brandy! We were thinking this has to be the last baby she'll have or maybe, just maybe since Tasha finally has her own apartment she'll do OK...or the system will step in. No one really knew what to do as far as in the beginning. I had already been told we couldn't have Tasha live here by Children Services because her sisters were scared of her and had been hiding. We didn't know all this being so busy with the babies and Mom and didn't' really want to believe it. It was true. We had to make her leave but when Brandy was born we brought her here to make sure the baby and her were taken care of in the beginning. About 2 weeks into it an older couple named Mary and Lee, who thought we were work of the devil trying to steal our daughters babies, picked Tasha and Brandy up and took them home. I'm sure they weren't told the truth about us but how can you just believe what you're told when the proof is in front of your eyes. For such Christian people they had such hatred for us in their hearts and eyes always telling Tasha ways to elude us. That seems to have been with everyone who has enabled Tasha in wrong doing by feeling sorry for her rather than looking at what was going on with the kids. Not only her kids but ours as well.

About 1 week into Tasha and Brandy being home my mother fell ill. She'd been over 1 year in the nursing home since I couldn't manage her wandering and manage all the kids. While coaxing some not so kind nurses into giving Mom and IV I get a call saying I needed to go pick up Brandy. By the way, Mom was in Mercy Anderson Hospital for a week and went back to the nursing home with bed sores...another issue still not resolved by the system or hospital. Anyway, Clermont County had set up a "safety plan" in which if things seemed bad I was to go get Brandy and help Tasha by taking her so Tasha could rest. I quickly hurried with Mom and rushed to get Brandy but Tasha wasn't letting her go. I called the police and picked her up and took her home. Again, another custody battle. This time my mother had passed about 2 weeks later. I really think she thought I was too tired to do any more than I was doing with the conversations we had. Tasha had been sneaking in and out of the nursing home staying there at times since she had no place to stay. She'd burned so many bridges and people were seeing the truth. Days had gone by and I knew Tasha was sneaking in and out but there wasn't much I could do. I'd reported so many things at the homes and tried my hardest to fix so much but the system doesn't protect our elders as much as it should. My whole reason for geriatrics to pediatrics reform. One good memory was Mom actually got to help us bath Brandy before she passed on. A memory I'll treasure forever.

After getting Brandy I certainly thought Tasha would get her tubes tied. I fought with her and her doctor but her attitude didn't allow it and the hospitals she went to didn't perform that type of surgery. She was suppose to go back and get it done but never did. Big surprise! Tasha was pregnant again and had been drinking and using drugs to some degree. How much isn't known...she didn't tell me the amount. She was also still taking her psych meds. In the meantime she'd lost her apartment, lived in a homeless shelter and married someone that wasn't the father. Him being wanted in Indiana didn't help as the shelter kicked them both out. There was more than that at the shelter going on. There was theft and a complete take over by the 2 of them. They had some strange support off and on and one of the persons, named Melissa who also volunteered there and at Kingsway Church in Batavia Ohio, gave some strange encouragement. If Tasha was to have her baby in Indiana the state couldn't possibly take her baby and then she'd have custody of that baby and the rest of the children would follow! Wow...another "do gooder" thinking they know the whole situation. I was described as a "devil worshipping mom" and I knew I had a fight on my hands. Tasha did go to Indiana and twice came back. Once by friends paying $150 to get her and another time by my husband and I purchasing a bus ticket and picking her up. This couldn't have been done without the support of her mother in law who I thank to this day. Eventually Tasha called me saying she was in labor so I could drive her to the hospital. I did....I did very quickly! This time I took her to Brown County to have her baby and get her tubes tied. Let me just say I was driving anywhere from 50 to 80 mph down Beechmont to get her there and not one cop would pull me over...and I certainly needed it! I knew Brown County Hospital was a place to get her tubes tied the day after giving birth. That was in March of this year.

With that being said I ended up bringing home another baby. Her name is Mandy and again we're fighting to gain custody. This time Tasha is working the system and a few others are helping her for their own reasons. She has asked for a "case plan" so Childrens Services is obligated to help her in all aspects to follow a plan so she can get her baby back. She wasn't allowed to bring her home from the hospital and Clermont County has custody of the baby but I'm the foster home or grandparent keeping the baby until a decision is made. This could take up to 2 years and in the meantime, it's been very wearing on the whole family due to the rules, visitation at CPS and her usual emotional abuse and court papers arriving constantly. Not to mention the lies!
I can't get any help from friends unless they are fingerprinted and I have to go by the rules set in motion for foster parents. It's a bit different for grandparents. I don't get any of the assistance foster parents get and Tasha can get legal aid and public housing and rides since she doesn't have a drivers license. This is why I've decided to go public and let the world know how it all really works. I never wanted to share my story with anyone I didn't know too well but how will I ever get help for others if I don't let them in on our little family secret. I know many of you thought I gave birth to all 6 kids in my home but I didn't. I do, however, love them as if I did and will continue to fight until them and any other children I can help are safe from our laws and the illness of mental health. You see, as much as love/loved my mom and wish she were here, I know she was ill too. When I was with her I was ill as well and for a long time I thought there was something wrong with me. Not the case. Uh..no chiming from the peanut gallery, OK..lol.. I don't have mental illness and am not on psych meds. Not that it's a bad thing but until you experience the whole thing, you can never understand how it affects the kids. I'm here to break the cycle but I cannot do it alone. I'm reaching out to the world to help get our world to be a place where the kids are safe and happy and we're bringing up better people to contribute and live as one rather than fight and find ways to keep families together that just can't be because the system is for parental rights when the parent can't parent and doesn't support other family members who know the story and continue to fight for what's right for the children. I know because I was one of the kids. This won't stop until things change and people understand what really goes on with courts and services run by our system. We all pay for it with our taxes but it's not us or the kids that benefit in the right way. I'm sure there are agencies and people that are doing things right but as a whole it's not working and if you look closely we have more in the system, in foster care and in counseling. This way isn't breaking any cycles.
I'll continue to update daily on what is going on and maybe some of you can send me suggestions or let me know who to go to for change. I'm up for the challenge as I have no choice. Please keep us in your prayers and feel free to lend your support. Thanks for any interest in my cause!